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| Sailing in the sunrise! |
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| It is small, but not to small;) |
Still in Kristiansand. We have been here for a little bit more than a
week. This week our plan was to continue to scotland, but because of
the wheather and how the wind are blowing we may have to wait a bit. But
the plan is to continuing north after thursday. (We have a show for a
school here on thursday!)
The premiere of our show
went really good. Maybe less money than expected, since there are a lot
of tourist and people with much money in their pockets around here. But
for me I think it was much, and I feel much more secure in what we are
doing now! We still have to practise some parts and wants to develop it
further, so hopefully scotland will see much more of us :)
It
has been a great time here in Kristiansand and we have started to
almost feel a little bit to comfortable, with close connections with the
city, a free place to stay, sweetfriends closeby, dinners, making shows
and stuff. But in the same time I have started to feel a little bit of
distress in my body that says, don't stay to long, you have to get
going...
And every morning I can feel and smell the autumn coming
closer and closer, that also makes me feel a bit in a hurry, because I
really don't want us to be stuck here, with our big plans stuck in our
heads, and stoped because of the coldness and hard winds. I don't know
nothing about autumn storms, or things like that, if there are any, but I
could just imagine what it could be like, and the colder it gets the
less comfartable it will be.
Well I see it as an adventure. I am
up for anything. I guess, and in the same time I am scared. Because I
know we are small in front of the big oceans, and I know why Henrik are
so keen on having everything exact and precise. Sometimes it makes me
want to scream, "What the hell, can't we just Do it!" but in the same
time I know that it is for our safety, and I know he is scared to, and
that is because he knows..
Just to different types of fears, but almost the same.
One
evening an old man come walking by, we where having dinner with friends
on the boat. He asked us about swedish pilotbooks to download from the
internet, it ended up with a really nice new friendship. It turned out he
had been sailing for quit many years, and he had a lot of good stories
to give! He helped us a lot and gave us some books for scotland and the
meditarranean and so on, that was really great. He also made me feel more
comfartable in the position of sailing.
I really liked the way
he was talking to us, like we all where equal. I guess I havn't felt
that for a while, since this sailing world are mostly for men its seemed
like.. And that have also maked me feel really lonely and angry a lot
of times.
The first thing I got to hear than we arrived to
Kristiansand was: "Oh, how brave of you!" And it wasn't because I never
sailied before, because he didn't know that.. And such things makes me
just tired, and sad and of course angry at times. Even if there is a
truth that Henrik knows more about boats and sailing, I would like to be given as
much respect as any other. Ok, maybe that man wasn't the best to repeat,
but there is just this looks, or maybe worst no looks, than they not
even ask or pretend I am there. It just hopeless.
I have
realized now that this is why I allways have had this strong feeling I
just have to improve somthing, I have to get jobs and make myself really
strong so I can be able to show them. Just because I am small, I am a
girl, it doesn't have to mean I am in a certain way.
But I like
to look "girly" or what the hell they would like to put the label on it.
I like to wear dresses, and wear make up sometimes. I like to fool
around on playgrounds for children, laugh really high in librarys, and
dance half naked in the city sqaure.
But please don't judge me before you even know me. Please just let me be me. And I will let you be you.
I
guess, I should not care. I should not even hasitate to think of this
what they are thinking. And oftenly I don't, but sometimes it is just to
hard not to.
It is than you don't even give me the respect of looking at me as your equal.
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| Home, from above |
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| Friends<3 |
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| We have a "house"duck! ;) |
