Let's be equal, Ok?

Sailing in the sunrise!

It is small, but not to small;)

Still in Kristiansand. We have been here for a little bit more than a week. This week our plan was to continue to scotland, but because of the wheather and how the wind are blowing we may have to wait a bit. But the plan is to continuing north after thursday. (We have a show for a school here on thursday!)

The premiere of our show went really good. Maybe less money than expected, since there are a lot of tourist and people with much money in their pockets around here. But for me I think it was much, and I feel much more secure in what we are doing now! We still have to practise some parts and wants to develop it further, so hopefully scotland will see much more of us :)

It has been a great time here in Kristiansand and we have started to almost feel a little bit to comfortable, with close connections with the city, a free place to stay, sweetfriends closeby, dinners, making shows and stuff. But in the same time I have started to feel a little bit of distress in my body that says, don't stay to long, you have to get going...
And every morning I can feel and smell the autumn coming closer and closer, that also makes me feel a bit in a hurry, because I really don't want us to be stuck here, with our big plans stuck in our heads, and stoped because of the coldness and hard winds. I don't know nothing about autumn storms, or things like that, if there are any, but I could just imagine what it could be like, and the colder it gets the less comfartable it will be.
Well I see it as an adventure. I am up for anything. I guess, and in the same time I am scared. Because I know we are small in front of the big oceans, and I know why Henrik are so keen on having everything exact and precise. Sometimes it makes me want to scream, "What the hell, can't we just Do it!" but in the same time I know that it is for our safety, and I know he is scared to, and that is because he knows..
Just to different types of fears, but almost the same.

One evening an old man come walking by, we where having dinner with friends on the boat. He asked us about swedish pilotbooks to download from the internet, it ended up with a really nice new friendship. It turned out he had been sailing for quit many years, and he had a lot of good stories to give! He helped us a lot and gave us some books for scotland and the meditarranean and so on, that was really great. He also made me feel more comfartable in the position of sailing.
I really liked the way he was talking to us, like we all where equal. I guess I havn't felt that for a while, since this sailing world are mostly for men its seemed like.. And that have also maked me feel really lonely and angry a lot of times.
The first thing I got to hear than we arrived to Kristiansand was: "Oh, how brave of you!" And it wasn't because I never sailied before, because he didn't know that.. And such things makes me just tired, and sad and of course angry at times. Even if there is a truth that Henrik knows more about boats and sailing, I would like to be given as much respect as any other. Ok, maybe that man wasn't the best to repeat, but there is just this looks, or maybe worst no looks, than they not even ask or pretend I am there. It just hopeless.

I have realized now that this is why I allways have had this strong feeling I just have to improve somthing, I have to get jobs and make myself really strong so I can be able to show them. Just because I am small, I am a girl, it doesn't have to mean I am in a certain way.
But I like to look "girly" or what the hell they would like to put the label on it. I like to wear dresses, and wear make up sometimes. I like to fool around on playgrounds for children, laugh really high in librarys, and dance half naked in the city sqaure.
But please don't judge me before you even know me. Please just let me be me. And I will let you be you.

I guess, I should not care. I should not even hasitate to think of this what they are thinking. And oftenly I don't, but sometimes it is just to hard not to.

 It is than you don't even give me the respect of looking at me as your equal.

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